Advice for guests and families of Bar/Bat Mitzva and Aufruf (1)

Mazaltov! Have an enjoyable and uplifting Simcha (joyous occasion). Thank you for celebrating with the rest of the South Hampstead community. Here is some advice to explain and clarify some of the goings-on and what you need to do.

Please refer both your Jewish and non-Jewish guests to this posting in advance of your Simcha

How should I come to South Hampstead Shul (Synagogue)?

1. If you are coming to South Hampstead on Shabbat (the Sabbath - prior to Friday sundown to 3 stars on Saturday night, see the Shul website for weekly times), please note that driving is prohibited on Shabbat (see a separate future post which discusses why).


2. If you are inviting non-Jewish guests, although they do not observe and respect the laws of Shabbat, please inform them that parking is controlled from 9.30am-1.30pm on Shabbat and that pay and display parking is limited.


3. In addition, the Shul is not able to provide parking vouchers, especially on Shabbat.


4. We also strive for good neighbourly relations so please encourage non-Jewish guests to use minicabs or public transport to come to the Shul. The nearest tube is Chalk Farm.

Should I bring anything with me?

1. No, certainly if you are Jewish! The laws of Shabbat prohibit transfering items from private to public domains, such as from your home to the street and to the Shul, unless this happens within an Eruv. Currently, South Hampstead Shul is not within an Eruv.


2. So, for example, men should not bring their Talit (aka Tallis) instead using one provided at the Shul. Similarily, do not bring Siddurim (prayer books), instead use those provided at the Shul.


3. Please also advise non-Jewish guests that although they do not observe Shabbat, they should be sensitive to this law of Shabbat and carry items discreetly, even if they see that some attendees do not observe this aspect of Shabbat.


4. Electronic items, such as mobile phones and cameras are not activated on Shabbat. For security reasons, if non-Jewish guests bring such items are brought, they must be deposited at security before entry to the Shul. In line with what is written in the rest of this section, Jews should neither use such items nor bring them to Shul on Shabbat.

How should I dress?

1. South Hampstead Shul has a relaxed atmosphere but is also a place of prayer where some formality is appropriate. For example, some men wear suits and ties whilst others will wear more relaxed but still smarter clothing e.g. chinos and a shirt rather than jeans and a polo shirt. Ascot dress is too dressy for Shul but neither is your house party gear appropriate!


2. Another aspect of a place of prayer is that clothing should be modest, especially in cut. In the shul, we stand before G-d in prayer and it is important that we are dressed appropriately. As such, both women and men should dress appropriately in this regard.


3. Married women cover their hair in the Shul even if they do not when outside (Jewish law requires married women to cover their hair in public). Whilst some women wear wigs (called a sheitel or pe'ah nochrit) in Hebrew, others prefer hats or scarves. Non-Jewish women, whilst not formally obligated to cover their hair in Shul by Jewish law, may wish to do so out of respect for the Shul environment.


4. Men, both Jewish and non-Jewish, should wear a head covering in Shul. This is normally done by wearing a cuppel/yarmulka/kipa and applies to both Jewish and non-Jewish men. A stock of cuppels/yarmulkas/kipot (plural) is available at the entrance to the Shul. After the service, please return any which you borrow.
   

When should our guests arrive?

1. Usually, the Shabbat morning service starts at 9.30am although many of the congregation arrive later. It is not fair to non-Jewish guests to expect them to arrive this early and sit through the entire service. Therefore...


2. For a barmitzvah, non-Jewish guests should arrive between 10.35 and 10.45am.


3. For a batmitzvah, non-Jewish guests should arrive between 10.50 and 11am.


4. For an aufruf, non-Jewish guests should arrive by 10.35am.

They will be in good time for the simcha if they arrive at these times and will not need to sit through the first part of the service which is irrelevant for their purposes and probably completely unintelligable for them.

What should we expect in the service?

1. The service is conducted mainly in Hebrew although the prayer books have English translation. Rabbi Shlomo announces page numbers and explains the service at frequent intervals. If you are unfamiliar with the service and

(a) read Hebrew, then go for the prayers you are familiar with and pray at your own pace or

(b) if you are not a Hebrew reader, then please make use of the translation which I hope you will find inspiring.

Although the Shul is a place of prayer, it also has a relaxed atmosphere as discussed above. One of the Hebrew words for a Shul is a beit kenesset, which means a house of gathering. As such, it is a bit like an extended family occasion and in some ways more of a community centre than just a Shul.

After the service finishes, the community normally enjoys a Kiddush to celebrate the Simcha and to allow people to catch up over some food and drink.

Sweets and Applause

Although in some communities, sweets are gently thrown at a barmitzvah boy to symbolise the sweetness of his coming of age, the custom in South Hampstead is not to throw sweets.

Please do not throw sweets. In addition to the waste, they get trodden into the carpet, can cause damage to people or property and also to any children caught in the scramble to retrieve them. It would be a much bigger Mitzvah (good deed) to give sweets to a shelter, hospital or charity or the Shul's elderly peoples' Friendship club to celebrate your Simcha.

Please do not applaud after the bat/bar mitzva part of the section ends. It is really not appropriate since the bar/bat mitzva is not a performance. Instead, it is the celebration of a Jewish child attaining responsibility.

The appropriate way to celebrate is to wish the family 'siman tov u'mazaltov', which is a blessing for good. It is often sung in South Hampstead and if so, it is appropriate to clap along with the song.

In closing

This whole posting is designed to ensure that you and your guests are familiar with the service, enhance the occasion, respect the sanctity and atmosphere of the Shul and help you to gain the maximum religious benefit from your special occasion.

If you have any questions, please email me

Mazaltov!

Shalom Zachar

Hi to all, my apologies for not posting for some time. It's been a busy time since...

...With thanks to G-d, my wife and I have been blessed with a son (exhibit A above). This posting is in gratitude and also attempls to explain why you are invited to a Shalom Zachor at our house this evening!

Some communities have the custom of making a small party called a Shalom Zachar / Sholom Zochor (if you use Ashkenazi pronounciation) on the first Friday night after a baby boy is born. The SZ takes place in the home of the newborn baby.

This custom is mentioned by the Rema (Rabbi Moshe Iserlis), a complementary work printed together with the Shulchan Aruch indicating where Ashkenazi custom differs from Sefaradi custom.

Why is there a Shalom Zachor? (the clue is in the italicised line at the end of this paragraph)

Here is what Rema writes: (Section Yoreh De'ah, chapter 265, paragraph 12) 'some people have the custom to make a festive meal and celebration on the Friday night after a baby boy is born.. The guests arrive at the newborn's home and taste some food. This is a Seudat Mitzva / a meal celebrating a mitzva.

Why would this be a seudat mitzva? Perhaps it relates to the seuda (meal) which accompanies the brit itself, but then why not just have a seuda with the brit?

Taz (not Taz for those who may be confused) presents intriguing answers. Quoting Terumat Hadeshen, he writes that since people are 'around' on Friday nights, everybody has the chance to go and celebrate with the baby and its family. This includes those who may not be able to attend the brit itself. Taz writes further, quoting the Midrash (Rabbinic teachings on the Torah), that just as people in Temple times would attend the Temple to bring a sacrifice to G-d, so too do we 'attend' in the most similar way that we can, on the holy day of Shabbat, before the baby enters the brit (which, btw, means both covenant and circumcision - the circumcision is to enter the covenant as described in this week's Sidra - cool! - see chapter 17 of Bereishit/Genesis).

Even more fascinatingly, Taz also quotes the Derisha who suggests that rather than being a party of celebration, the Shalom Zachor in fact commemorates all that the baby has forgotten already! According to the Talmud (Tractate Niddah, page 20b), the child learns the whole of the Torah whilst in its mother's womb but then an angel gently strikes the child (leading to the indentation between the upper lip and the nose) causing the child to forget the Torah that he has learnt. Thus the Shalom Zachar is to 'remember' that the child needs to start learning Torah and build up his own achievements in this regard. This should stimulate us to remember the Torah and understand that it is through our own efforts - qualatatively perhaps more than quantitativley - we realise that if we do not remember the Torah, we can easily forget it.

Tosafot (Bava Kama 80a, s.v 'velibi' as quoted by the Gra) explains that the custom to make a festive meal is to give thanks for the safe arrival of the baby. This may explain why the custom arose to have a Shalom Zachar in addition to the Brit.

This could also explain the custom to eat chickpeas and fruit at the Shalom Zachor, which are seen as a sign of fertility, in similar fashion to eating the simanim on Rosh Hashana (see the index for a post explaining this.)

However, it does not explain why a Shalom Zachar is generally only for a male child whilst a similar party for a girl is called a Simchat Bat or a Zeved Bat (see page 816 of the green Siddur for more on this). More on this another time, all being well - hopefully when somebody in the shul has a girl.

Conclusion

Hopefully we have now seen why some communities have the custom of a Shalom Zachar. However, it is certainly not obligatory and should not be held if the baby or parents would be put under strain.

Aruch Hashulchan, in a cautionary note (Yoreh De'ah 265:37) questions how the Shalom Zachar could be a festive meal especially as the custom is just to 'nosh' rather than make hamotzi and have a proper seuda! He mentions another custom of going to wish Mazaltov to the parents and baby after Shul on Shabbat morning but not to eat anything at their house so that there is no pressure on the parents to provide catering or hospitality!

Shemita (1)

This Jewish year (5768) is a Shemita (Sabbatical) year. Amongst the Mitzvot of the Shemita year is that the Land of Israel should not be worked, that any produce which it produces of its own accord must not be traded for profit and that such produce must be treated in a specified way.

We will discuss some of these issues at the Shabbat Mincha shiur this Shabbat, Parashat Bereishit, all being well, with an update planned for the blog.

What do Shemini Atzeret and Egged have in common? (and dont forget the Eruv Tavshilin again!)

Image from here

Tonight (Wednesday night) is the start of Shemini Atzeret, which is followed by Simchat Torah (Thursday night).

What is Shemini Atzeret?

Shemini Atzeret is a Chag (festival) in its own right, immediately after Succot. As the Torah states in Vayikra 23:36 '...on the eighth day, there is a holy time for you; you shall offer up fire offerings to G-d, it is an atzeret...'

As always, we need to understand the meaning, rather than the translation, of the words in the pasuk/verse.

Let's concentrate on the meaning of the word 'atzeret' (we understand shemini as this means 8 and clearly refers to the day after Succot).

Here's how some of the explanations line up:

• Onkelos and Ibn Ezra write that atzeret means a gathering
• Rashi, rather than simply explaining the word, offers a further explanation. He writes that atzeret means that G-d stopped us - remember those 'atzur' stop signs on Egged buses which are from the same word root as atzeret (now you know what Shemini Atzeret and Egged have in common!). This means that G-d stopped us from leaving the Beit Hamikdash (Temple) after Succot.

Succot was one of the Shalosh Regalim (pilgrim festivals) so many Jews would be in Jerusalem. Succot includes prayers for the entire world, not just for the Jewish people, to the extent that 70 cows were offered as sacrifices in the Temple on behalf of the 70 nations of the world. G-d said to the Jewish people, as if it were, that He wanted them to stay for an extra day so that there could be a special day of celebration just for the Jewish people, as the end of the festive season in the Beit Hamikdash was 'hard' for G-d.

Seforno's explanation is in a similar vein.

• Rashbam states that atzeret simply means that we are 'stopped' (or should I stay 'estopped' - I'll leave that to the lawyers) from doing any melacha (creative labour). However, since this is the case on any Shabbat or Yom Tov (other than certain specific exceptions on Yom Tov) and is stated explicitly in the pasuk, it is not clear why Rashbam takes this view.
• Ramban takes a different view, although somewhat akin to Rashi. He writes that the word atzeret also applies to Shavuot, the festival that comes in the 8th week from the start of Pesach - you can already spot the parallel to Shemini Atzeret being on the 8th day from the start of Succot. Just as Shavuot, commemorating the giving of the Torah, is a Chag (festival) which stresses the uniqueness of the relationship between G-d and the Jewish people, expressed for example by the covenant of the Torah, so too does Shemini Atzeret express this uniqueness, in distinction to the universality of Succot.

This is why the Talmud in Tractate Moed Katan, page 18a, emphasises that Shemini Atzeret is a Chag independent of Succot with several specific Mitzvot, such as those described in the piece we read from the Torah for Maftir on Shemini Atzeret (Bemidbar 29:35 - 30:1).

Atzeret can therefore be understood as a separate festival.

This understanding is amplified by Tosafot on the spot.

Conclusions

• Shemini Atzeret is a separate festival to Succot. It emphasises the unique relationship between G-d and the Jewish people through a Chag to celebrate this specifically without focusing on Yetziat Mitzrayim (the Exodus) or Matan Torah (the Giving of the Torah) for example.
  
• The highlight of the prayers is Tefilat Geshem, the prayer for rain, which is part of Musaf and heralds the season for saying 'Mashiv haruach u'morid ha'gashem' in the Amida prayer.
• Tefilat Geshem is recited as on Succot, the world is judged for water (see Mishna, Tractate Rosh Hashana, 1:2). Since rain on Succot stops us from fulfilling the mitzva of using the Succah, we postpone the prayer for rain until Shemini Atzeret.
  
• On Shemini Atzeret, the most widespread minhag (custom) is to eat in the Succah but without reciting the beracha of leishaiv basuccah. Ask me if you want to know why.

Any finally, dont forget the Eruv Tavshilin, or indeed your toothbrush.

Latest time for candle lighting tonight (Weds 3 October 2007) is 6.19pm. Remember to light a 48hour candle as well so that you can light candles for Simchat Torah and Shabbat. Mincha tonight is at 6.19pm.

Chag Sameach!

Ps (for those who want a little extra to think about, why do we have Chol Hamoed if Succot and Shemini Atzeret are separate festivals?)

Eruv Tavshilin, Wednesday 26 September

Do not forget to make an Eruv Tavshilin today. For more details, see this post linked below but please ignore the times as they were for Rosh Hashana. Succot begins on Wednesday 26 September at 6.35pm which is the latest time for candle lighting. Also, dont forget to light a 48 hour candle

http://southhampsteadshiur.blogspot.com/2007/09/et-at-home-thats-eruv-tavshilin-showing.html

And here's another Succah showing.

The World's Fastest Succah. Safari & FAQ

pictures from http://www.sukkahmart.com/images/safarisukkah_anim.gif - is this the world's fastest Succah?

Here are some thoughts about the Mitzva of the Succah on Succot. For a review of the basic laws of the Succah, please skip to the conclusion below.

The Torah says, "You shall dwell in 'Succot' for 7 days, every person in Israel shall dwell in 'Succot'. In order that your generations shall know that I (G'd) housed the Children of Israel in 'Succot' when I took them out of the land of Egypt" (Vayikra 23:42-43).

I put the word 'Succot' in inverted commas deliberately. This is because the meaning of this word is crucial in appreciating the wonderful Mitzva of the Succah. The Talmud (Succot 11a) quotes a fascinating dispute between Rabbi Akiva and Rabbi Eliezer. The former held that the Jewish people 'B&Qed it' by building real Succot (Succahs!) in the desert whilst the later held that the pasuk (verse) quoted above refers to the clouds of glory with which G-d protected the Jewish people in the midbar (desert) and not physical buildings.

What should we, about to perform the mitzva of the Succah, glean from this discussion?

Rabbi Yechiel Michel Epstein ( a Litvak - yes!), in his wondeful work Aruch Hashulchan steers a course for us which also helps us to understand the verses quoted above.

Rabbi Epstein writes that performing the mitzva of the Succah helps us to remember the great miracles that G-d performed for us when we left the land of Egypt, in particular how such a large group of people enjoyed comfortable, miraculous living conditions in the barren desert for forty years. Part of this was through the clouds of glory.

Whilst the people were in the desert, they lived in something approximating a Succah. Despite the apparent fragility of such a residence, the people still enjoyed the blessings which G'd bestowed upon them in the desert.

Rabbi Epstein's answer helps us to understand this dispute and should give us plenty to think about as we prepare for the Mitzva of the Succah. It should also make us grateful for the wonderful buildings that we live in and grateful to G'd for such comfort, never taking it for granted.

Conclusion - Succah FAQ

How should I build a Succah?

The Succah needs to have at least 2 and a bit walls (better to have at least 3 full walls). The walls can be made of anything. The most important part of the Succah is the schach, the roof.

Schach is a special word specifically refering to what can be the roof of the Succah. Schach consists of items which grew from the ground, including trees, have now been detached from the ground and are not mekabel tuma (dont worry if you dont recognise this last phrase. For our purposes in building a Succah, it is unlikely to be relevant). These items, which, for example, could be leaves or bamboo specially tied for the purpose, comprise the roof of the Succah. The Schach must be open to the sky and provide more shade than sun.

What do I do in the Succah?

The Talmud says that you should dwell in the Succah as you do at home. This means you should eat a meal in there and if you are eating any bread or grain in the meal, you can say the special beracha (blessing) for the Succah (Artscroll Siddur page 492, Green Siddur page 730). Try and do as many other activities as you can in the Succah. If your extension cable stretches, watch TV in there.

The one time when you must eat in the Succah if at all possible is on the first night of Succot. Look out for the special Kiddush (Artscroll Siddur page 722, Green Siddur page 660). Even if you just make Kiddush and Hamotzi in the Succah and have a couple of good slices of challa, that is enough minimally to fulfil the mitzva.

If you do not have a Succah at home, come to the Shul for both evenings of Succot. We will make Kiddush and Hamotzi in the Shul Succah for a few minutes. Rabbi Shlomo will tell stories and if you are really lucky, Cecil will give you Succot sour sticks!

In warmer climes than England, many people sleep in the Succah. There are some hardy people who even sleep in the Succah in England and other colder northern countries.

If you are uncomfortable, you are exempt from the Succah. This would apply when it rains or if it is too cold or dangerous for you to sleep in the Succah, for example

Where can I put the Sukkah?

The schach must be open to the sky so make sure that your Succah is not under a tree, a balcony or anything similar. Otherwise, just make sure that you put it somewhere that will not disturb your neighbours.

Can I decorate the Succah?

Yes! Great idea. Thanks to Dani L for providing this Succah decoration which I think is great but my wife quite rightly is stopping me from hanging up! You can hang pictures on the walls, which can be fun for kids. Do not hang anything from the schach. If you have fruit for this purpose, make a fruit salad instead and get your 5-a-day.

Where can I buy a Succah?

If you like a wooden Succah, go to your local timber yard, hardware store etc. If you want an easier and hopefully quicker option, check out Sukkah Mart in Golders Green.

If you have any questions about the Succah, or Succot in general, please email me.

Chag Sameach!

Succot Species and FAQ

Image from http://adloyada.typepad.com/adloyada/images/59140036_1.JPG

image from http://fp.thebeers.f9.co.uk/images/sukkot%20kotel.jpg

The source for the Arba'ah Minim on Succot (4 species - lulav/palm, etrog/citron, hadasim/myrtle, aravot/willows) is in Vayikra (Levitcus) 23:40 - 'And you shall take for yourselves on the first day, a beautiful fruit of the tree branches of palm trees and boughs of trees, willows of the brook. And you shall rejoice before the Lord your G'd for 7 days'.

G-d gave Moses the Torah in two parts. The first part was the written Torah - in Hebrew, Torah Shebichtav - and the Oral Torah - in Hebrew Torah Shebe'al Peh. The two are indivisible and together make up one whole which is the Torah. Torah Shebe'al Peh sometimes works on the principle that a picture is worth 1000 words. For example, the Torah Shebichtav has minimal headline style information about what a Mezuza is,(those familiar lines of the Shema) whilst the Torah Sheba'al Peh describes what the Mezuza looks like, how it is to be placed and all of the other details that go into making Mezuzot what they are. Torah Shebe'al Peh is a much more effective instrument for this task than the written word. Torah Shebe'al Peh was passed down from teacher to student, parent to child until it was finally codified by Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi who preserved it in the Mishna to combat Roman persecution. This is but an introduction to Torah Shebe'al Peh. There is much more to say about Torah Shebe'al Peh and the process of Jewish law, but let's save that for another time, all being well.

The reason for this introduction is that Torah Shebe'al Peh tells us what the Arba'ah Minim actually are. It explains the verse quoted above to tell us how we perform the Mitzva that the verse describes and that we call Arab'ah Minim (or colloquially, lulav and etrog but I dont like that because what about the hadasim and aravot!!) See Talmud Tractate Sukkah pages 32 and 34 for examples.

How to choose a set

Here are a few very basic tips for choosing and using a set of Arba'ah Minim. If you did not order through the Shul, go to Golders Green Road. You wont get away without having purchased a set as there are loads of sellers!!

Lulav

• Make sure that it is not dry (ie not white and brittle).
• Make sure that the leaves are not split at the top.
• Make sure that it is at least 50cm long.

Etrog

• If the etrog grew with a Pitam, make sure it is still intact.
• Make sure that there are no disease-like growths or obvious black marks in the top third of the Etrog.

Hadasim

• Most vendors sell these pre-packeted so just pick up a Penguin, oops, I mean a packet of Hadasim. Each pack has 3 Hadasim, the minimum number of branches required.

Aravot

• Most vendors will sell these pre-packaged. Make sure that the leaves are not snapped. You need at least 2 branches. These should be about 32cm long minimally.

Here are some FAQ regarding the Arba'ah Minim.

How do I arrange the Arba'ah Minim?

You can assemble the Arba'ah Minim on the morning of Succot (Thursday this year) but make sure that you have opened the Hadasim and/or Aravot packs before Succot starts on Wednesday night. The spine/backbone of the Lulav (ie the green side which is the 'top' side if you were to lay the Lulav horizontally) should be facing you. Carefully put the Hadasim into the holders on the right hand side of the Lulav, taking care not to break any leaves. Then put the Aravot into the holders on the left hand side, also taking care not to break any leaves.

The Hadasim should be higher than the Aravot.

There should be at least 11cm between the top of the Hadasim and the top of the Lulav.

How do I use the Arba'ah Minim?

Turn to the appropriate page in your Succot Machzor (Festival Siddur) for taking the Arba'ah Minim (it is listed in the contents page). It is also on page 630 in Artscroll Siddur and page 616 in the Green Siddur.

Pick up the Lulav after you have inserted the Hadasim and Aravot as described above. Then turn pick up the Etrog, turning it upside down before you hold it together with the Lulav. Recite the beracha/blessing (say the 'Shehecheyanu' beracha the first time that you use the Arba'ah Minim). Then turn the Etrog the right way up and hold it so that it touches the Lulav. Gently shake the Lulav and Etrog 3 times in the following directions whilst holding them together: forward, right, over your right shoulder, left, up and down.

In Shul, there are more opportunities to shake during communal prayers. Rabbi Shlomo will explain these at the time.

Who can use the Arba'ah Minim

On the first two days of Succot in the Diaspora, you must own the set of Arba'ah Minim that you use. This is because the verse quoted above, which is the source for the mitzva of Arab'ah Minim, says that you must take the Arba'ah Minim for yourself, which the Talmud explains means that you must own them.

Do not worry if you do not have a set. You can accomplish this though somebody giving you their set as a 'matana al menat lechachzir' - a gift on condition that you return it. This means that you own the Arba'ah Minim when you use them but then ownership reverts back to the original owner.

This also applies to a family that only has one set of Arba'ah Minim.

As Barry C pointed out in Shul this morning, it's a bit like a loan transfer in football (thanks Barry!). A player goes from Club A to Club B on a season's loan. During that season, he is Club B's player completely but once the season ends, he becomes Club A's player completely once again.

Another option is to use a Shul set. Rabbi Shlomo will explain this in Shul. If you do not have a set, you are welcome to use mine in Shul as a matana al menat lechachzir.

What should I think about when I use the Arba'ah Minim

Remember that you are:

• fulfilling a Mitzva from the Torah
• thanking G-d for nature and nature's blessings
• concentrate on the importance of those blessings spreading in every direction, hence the waving of the Arba'ah Minim in the different directions described above.

How long are the Arba'ah Minim used for?

They are used every day of Succot other than Shabbat. The last day for using them is Hoshana Rabba.

What should I do with the Arba'ah Minim after Succot?

You can make jam from the etrog but dont ask me how. I think it tastes nice when you add lots of sugar! Some people cover their Etrog with cloves, to try and preserve some of the sweet smell of the Etrog. The Aravot are placed above the Aron Hakodesh (Ark) in the Shul. In some communities, they are stored there until before Pesach when they are used to heat the ovens for making Matzot.

The lulav and hadasim can be put in the garden. If necessary, they can be thrown out.

Chag Sameach!